Jabbering, generous Durwood

My friend Ed Grisamore — a columnist for The Macon Telegraph and an active member of Macon's First Baptist Church — and I got together earlier this week to talk about our common passions for writing and baseball.

After sizing up the new Braves pitching rotation, bemoaning yet another season without minor league baseball in central Georgia, and warming up to Molly's chicken soup, Ed shared with me about his latest project. He has written a biography with that tired ol' title (just kidding): "Once You Step in Elephant Manure You're in the Circus Forever."

It is subtitled, "The Life and Sometimes of Durwood 'Mr. Doubletalk' Fincher.' A colorful character previously unfamiliar to me despite a good bit of fame.

Durwood was raised in Macon's cotton mill village, Payne City. A chunky boy with a creative mind and loving mother, he was took to entertaining others rather than athletic prowess. And he was nurtured in faith at nearby Bellevue Baptist Church where he kept a perfect Sunday school attendance record going for years.

Breaking out of the mill cycle, Durwood went to college and became a teacher in Columbus, Ga. With his affable personality, he recruited students into drama who otherwise would not have done so.

There he encountered Eloise Hope who was often called on to entertain corporate guests at nearby Callaway Gardens with her "doubletalk." It became Durwood's path to the brighter spotlight.

"I never really practiced it, and I could never teach it to anybody," Eloise said in the book. "I really considered it a God-given talent."

By definition, doubletalk is "speech that is purposely incoherent but made to seem serious by mixing in normal words and intonations."

Though it could not be taught, Durwood mastered doubletalk through observation and lots of practice.

His incoherent speech has befuzzled IBM executives, television stars and even an Atlanta cop writing Durwood a traffic citation. Pitcher and prankster John Smoltz brought him in to "interview" some of his teammates, coaches and announcers.

In corporate settings, he is introduced as "Dr. Robert Payne," an expert on whatever subject the group is addressing. The fake identity is a tribute to his home in Payne City.

At other times he takes on whatever identity works best to fool the next victim of his humor.

The late Allen Funt of Candid Camera tagged him as "Mr. Doubletalk." Durwood has appeared on numerous shows with the likes of host Regis Philbin, NBC weatherman Al Roker and letter-turner Vanna White trying to decipher his rambling questions.

To me, however, the most enjoyable part of the book was the obvious generosity of Durwood Fincher. He gives freely of his wealth and invests personal time with those in need.

He has close, personal relationships with persons living well below his high-rise Atlanta condo. These are moving stories of a man who cares deeply about persons very much unlike him — at least on the surface.

Obviously, this is one linthead who has not forgotten his roots.

After moving to Atlanta many years ago, Durwood became active in Peachtree Presbyterian Church through a friendship with the daughter of then-pastor Frank Harrington. But he explains the denominational switch differently.

"Never in a million years did I think I would switch parties," he explained. "Of course, people laugh when I tell them I used to be Baptist, but came into some money so now I'm Presbyterian."

Most importantly, he is a generous Christian who considers writing a check (in pencil, his regular pew-mate says) and placing it in the offering plate to be an important part of his weekly worship experience. She laughs about the Sunday when he forgot his checkbook and instead dropped a note in the plate that read: "See me next Sunday."

A DVD is tucked inside the back of the book. It is the rightful place. I'd suggest reading the story as told by Ed - then popping in the disk to see Durwood at work.

For more, visit doubletalk.com. And watch your step.

'Do you like Funyuns?'

Before picking up my daughter from drama practice last evening, there was just enough time for a quick stop at Kroger. Bananas, mixed nuts and dried fruit formed my small mission.

In the produce section, however, a woman came charging toward me. Loudly she asked: "Do you like Funyuns?"

A bit stunned, I was silent. Then she asked again: "DO YOU LIKE FUNYUNS?"

A response was forming in my mind but had not yet reached my lips. It was something like: "Actually, I've not had Funyuns in about a quarter of a century. But I do remember the round corn chips drenched in onion powder being quite tasty. However, I'm trying to eat snacks now such as these items in my hand, Ma'am."

But before blurting out my response, I noticed her ear-piece. She was not talking to me.

Apparently, it was a bad cell phone connection or the person on the other end was playing their iPod too loud to comprehend the question about Funyuns.

Technology certainly changes the way we live — sometimes for good, sometimes not.

Ah, for the good ol' days when you could see persons wandering along jabbering to themselves and make the reasonable assumption that they were deranged.

Now you must conclude that they are simply on the phone. Talking loudly. Repeatedly. Rudely. About significant matters — like Funyuns.

News: Decatur church warned of future GBC action

NEWS
Ga. Baptist leaders warn of further action against church with female pastor
By John Pierce
Baptists Today

DECATUR, Ga. — In her church newsletter column dated Jan. 23, pastor Julie Pennington-Russell of the First Baptist Church of Decatur, Ga., reported on a Jan. 7 visit by representatives of the Georgia Baptist Convention (GBC) who warned her that some unidentified individuals within the convention are seeking a formal “withdrawal of fellowship” from the congregation.

Pennington-Russell reported that Executive Director Robert White — accompanied by GBC Church-Ministers Relations director Danny Watters and Christian Index editor Gerald Harris — informed her and two other church representatives that, while the church is free to call the pastor of their own choosing, the convention is also free to decide with whom they will relate.

It was the first direct communication since the convention drafted and passed a somewhat-veiled motion in November 2008 permitting GBC leaders to reject mission funds from the congregation and to prohibit First Baptist members from having representation in the convention. The action was in response to the church calling a female pastor — Pennington-Russell — in August 2007.

She told church members that the GBC representatives explained that a formal “withdrawal of fellowship” would mean that the church could not receive materials or services from the GBC such as training in Vacation Bible School, Sunday school or evangelism.

“Not sure I’d heard correctly, I pressed a little,” she wrote in the column. “Do you mean that if I called you up one day and said—‘The Spirit is doing something amazing at First Baptist Decatur! Waves of men, women and teenagers are responding to God and are being baptized and we could use some additional help in giving them a good foundation. Could you send a team over to meet with our folks?’—are you telling me that the GBC wouldn’t want to help us with that?”

White said he would be willing to help “personally” in such a situation, but not as an official representative of the GBC, Pennington-Russell reported.

“Friends, in that hour-long conversation it became crystal clear to me why people are abandoning denominational structures in droves and why denominationalism as it exists today is doomed: It is largely missing the point,” she wrote. “The denominational leaders in my office that day love people and care deeply about the gospel — I’m certain about that. But the sad reality is, most denominational organizations are stuck in bureaucratic systems that have forgotten why they exist in the first place.”

She said the congregation must be on guard against “missing the point” as well.

“May God save us from the deadly notion that this church exists to provide goods and services for eligible ‘members,’” she continued. “…We exist to follow Jesus into gospel adventures of all kinds in collaboration with all God’s people, whatever their denominational preferences or doctrinal stances.”

Pennington-Russell acknowledged that the church has “kingdom-focused” relationships with other organizations such as the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, the Willow Creek Association, the Baptist World Alliance and the Atlanta Metro Baptist Association.

Pennington-Russell told Baptists Today that she has received “an overwhelmingly positive response” to the column from church members. Though the GBC’s action last November received much media attention, she said, it was “barely a blip on the radar at Decatur First Baptist.”

In meeting with convention leaders and in writing the column, Pennington-Russell said her goal was “to be kind and to be honest.” She expects the church will take no formal action in response to the convention: “That’s not what we are all about.”

The pastor and congregation are giving their attention to the church’s growing ministries, she said, aimed at reaching persons in the community with no church connections. Last year, largely through a growing second worship service, the congregation added dozens of new members including the baptism of 21 persons, nine of whom were adults.

Pennington-Russell said she envisions the church reaching many more in the days ahead.

“It certainly indicates the direction we are going,” she said. “And that is a high priority for us.”

Any additional GBC action against the church would have very little impact on the congregation, she predicted. Most, she said, “already consider ourselves disfellowshipped” by the earlier decision to reject mission funds from the church.

Only about 13 members — some with relatives serving as Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) missionaries — direct their mission gifts to SBC causes through the church, she said. The church will find a way for them to continue that support if they wish, she added.

Pennington-Russell described the meeting with GBC representatives as friendly — but late in the decision-making process.

“It just seemed so odd to me that all of this would happen without [convention leaders and church leaders] looking eye-to-eye,” she said.

White, the GBC executive director, was asked by Baptists Today about the convention’s intentions regarding further action against the Decatur church, the public relations impact of the decision and the result of refusing mission gifts during an economic downturn.

“I have no comment for you on these matters,” he responded.

(Baptists Today is an independent, national news journal based in Macon, Ga.)

A passion for equality

Shirley Taylor of Conroe, Texas, has a passion. It surfaced in the Open Letter she sent out recently urging Baptists to rethink the idea of women in church leadership.

Not knowing Shirley, I emailed her some questions. (Also, I did not know that Bob Allen of ABP was doing the same. Here is his story.)

However, I will share the information Shirley — who retired from the Baptist General Convention of Texas in 2005 following a reorganization — offered to me.

I asked the following six questions:
1. How did the idea of "Baptist Women for Equality" come about?
2. Was the Jan. 15 "Open Letter" the first of an ongoing electronic newsletter? How frequent?
3. Who else is leading this effort? Do you have a board or committee?
4. What future projects are planned?
5. What do you to hope to accomplish?
6. Why do think the subject of women's equality among Baptists needs such attention at this time?

Here are Shirley's responses:

"First I am going to answer your questions very simply. Then I will go into further detail.

1.The idea of bWe-Baptist Women for Equality is to provoke women to question why they accept so readily that women cannot be deacons or pastors.

2. The January 15 Open Letter is the first. I don’t know if there will be more. There will be more information put on the website. A feature called “Letters to My Pastor” which is a collection of letters that I have written to my pastor and other Baptist leaders will appear soon.

3. My husband is the only one who is helping me. He is an encourager, and helps in every way which makes it possible for me to do this. There is no board or committee. Just us.

4. We are still working on this project and do not anticipate any future projects. I don’t plan to picket or boycott anybody. We started this two months ago.

5. What do I hope to accomplish? I hope that Southern Baptists can be brought into the 21st Century, stop this nonsense about women being submissive to men which is an old Middle Eastern idea, and allow women their equal place in our churches. I hope to see at least one church in my local association have a woman deacon.

6. The answer to the last question is that while my website is new, I have been writing letters to my pastor and Baptist leaders since 2000, promoting women as deacons and pastors."

[To expound:] "The Southern Baptist Convention met in June of 2008. What came out of their annual meeting was very disturbing to me. They love to keep up their animosity toward women.

"One of the proposals that will be addressed during this year and brought to the convention in June 2009 shows how narrow-minded and backward Southern Baptists have become since the conservative takeover in the 1980s.

"The following quote is from what I read in the Baptist Standard that upset me so much. The offensive motion is: Amend the SBC’s constitution to disallow affiliation by 'churches which have female senior pastors.' This proposal would modify the SBC constitution, which regulates convention membership (affiliation). The convention’s Baptist Faith and Message doctrinal statement asserts, 'the office of pastor is limited to men as qualified by Scripture.'

"They do not want any women pastors and cannot even accept the money from a church that has a woman pastor. It is as if women will taint the Baptist denomination. Their attitude is comparable to the Middle Eastern men who have denied women status and made the women themselves believe that God wills such.

"Two months ago I had no idea that I would doing this. For some time I had felt a real stirring in my soul that I needed to do something. Several ideas were discarded and there was no clear direction.

"Then I decided to visit the Director of Missions of our local Baptist association. I had worked there for 12 years while working for Baptist General Convention of Texas, but knew this Director of Missions only slightly. My express purpose was to go on record as being a woman in this association who thought it was time for women deacons.

"The DOM was very gracious and did not say or do anything that would lead me to believe he felt one way or the other. During that conversation, I realized that the sides were too well drawn and that the churches aligned with the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention had actually signed an agreement saying that they would not have women deacons.

"I found that interesting because I had done an informal survey recently and found that some people sitting in those SBTC churches were in favor of women deacons. Either the pastors do not know how their people feel or have so convinced themselves that their congregation believes as they do, or they just don’t care.

"I would like to ask those pastors the question you asked me 'What do you hope to accomplish?’ by keeping women in the place they have decided we should be.

"We have devoted a huge amount of time and effort into this project. It has cost us money as we have developed a website, mailed out over 100 letters to churches and individuals. We have emailed many people, and faxed an abbreviated copy to many people.

"We have sent emails and faxes to Paige Patterson, Al Mohler, the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention, the Southern Baptist Convention, Baptist General Convention of Texas, Lifeway Book Stores, Baptist encampments and Baptist newspapers.

"How much does a snowflake weigh? Almost nothing, but one snowflake upon another can cause a tree limb to break. This is my snowflake. I add it to the weight of all those others who have come to realize that women should claim the equality that is already given them by Almighty God."

Two editorial observations:
1. There are other places in Baptist life where women are affirmed and other groups (such as Baptist Women in Ministry) where this concern is addressed.
2. However, I wouldn't underestimate the impact of one Texas grandmother's snowflake.

Decatur church could face more GBC wrath

In a her church newsletter column, pastor Julie Pennington-Russell of the First Baptist Church of Decatur, Ga., reported on an early January visit by representatives of the Georgia Baptist Convention. (I will have a more complete news story early next week.)

It was the first direct communication since the convention passed a somewhat-veiled motion in November permitting leaders to reject mission funds from the congregation and to prohibit First Baptist members from having representation in the convention.

The GBC's punitive action was in response to the church daring to call a female pastor — something some Southern Baptist men just bristle over.

Pennington-Russell reported that Executive Director Bob White — accompanied by GBC Church-Ministers Relations director Danny Watters and Christian Index editor Gerald Harris — informed her and two other church representatives that while the church is free to call the pastor of their own choosing (something known as local church autonomy that Baptists have valued for some 400 years now) the convention is also free to decide with whom they choose to relate.

Decatur First Baptist is not welcome in their clubhouse. Also, Pennington-Russell reported, the GBC leaders warned that "some individuals" are not satisfied with the action from last November and will likely move to formally "withdraw fellowship" from the Decatur church.

When she asked about the difference between the vote last year and the potential stronger action this year, Pennington-Russell said she was told that a formal "withdrawal of fellowship" would mean that the church could not receive materials or services from the GBC such as training in Vacation Bible School, Sunday school or evangelism.

Here's how she explained it in the newsletter: "Not sure I’d heard correctly, I pressed a little. 'Do you mean that if I called you up one day and said—"The Spirit is doing something amazing at First Baptist Decatur! Waves of men, women and teenagers are responding to God and are being baptized and we could use some additional help in giving them a good foundation. Could you send a team over to meet with our folks?"—are you telling me that the GBC wouldn’t want to help us with that?'”

The answer was "no". Heroically, however, Bob White said he would be willing to help "personally" in such a situation, but not as an official representative of the GBC.

For Julie — and those of us who read of this ongoing, unnecessary, childish saga — there are lessons to be learned. Here are her good conclusions shared with her church family:

"Friends, in that hour-long conversation it became crystal clear to me why people are abandoning denominational structures in droves and why denominationalism as it exists today is doomed: It is largely missing the point. The denominational leaders in my office that day love people and care deeply about the gospel—I’m certain about that. But the sad reality is, most denominational organizations are stuck in bureaucratic systems that have forgotten why they exist in the first place."

I have a few observations of my own:
1. Fundamentalism has no "stop" button. The circle keeps getting smaller; the noose gets tighter.
2. The Georgia Baptist Convention is clearly in a fundamentalist stranglehold.
3. The Decatur church (and any others wise enough to learn from this experience) are more effective apart from rather than connected to such hostile, myopic organizations.
4.The "fundamentalist clubhouse" concept is growing in my mind. (This is good editorial fodder.)

And one more point: a member of Decatur's First Baptist Church told me recently that he has never been more excited about being involved in a congregation. More than 60 members joined last year, he said, while most churches inside the Atlanta perimeter are struggling. New converts are being baptized and people are giving generously to support innovative ministries to reach out into this diverse community.

The First Baptist Church of Decatur, Ga., is doing well. The buffoons guarding the old declining GBC clubhouse — no matter how many hostile actions they take — are irrelevant to them and to any other person or church wise enough to see the modern-day realities and move on.

[Photo from www.fbcdecatur.com)

History at Applebee's

The soup and salad were just fine, but I chose to have lunch at Applebee's on Tuesday for two other reasons.

I wanted to find a place with televisions and to be among some African Americans. From a recent lunch meeting there, I recalled that young black women made up most of the wait staff.

Arriving just past 11:30 AM, I found a corner stool at the bar with a good viewing angle of the inauguration. Customers were scattered about other parts of the restaurant, but only a half dozen young African-American women and I watched the historic event in our corner.

I paid attention to their reactions — especially the emotions expressed on their faces. The smallest among them gave hearty "Amens" throughout Rick Warren's invocation.

We laughed together when the eloquent-speaking new president and the Chief Justice stumbled through the oath of office. First-time jitters for both, we agreed.

We talked about change and hope and possibilities. And I kept wondering how this historic event was being viewed through our very different lenses.

I was a white child of the '60s. School integration gave me my first daily contact with African Americans who lived close by but much very separated.

Influential adults in my life interpreted the civil rights movement in terms of "trouble-making." The most I suffered personally for the noble cause of human equality was having to go home ahead of curfews when the possibility of rioting was heightened.

For these younger African-American women, the civil rights struggle was something they heard or read about from others. Yet, surely, they too have experienced firsthand discrimination or racism to varying degrees.

Having a man of color in the nation's highest office said something to them that I don't believe I am capable of fully hearing.

Looking back on various historic events in my lifetime from the moon landing to 9/11, it is easy to recall where I was at those exact moments. Now I add to that list the good memories of having lunch and conversations at Applebee's when the first African-American president was sworn into office — something no one in my little world would have believed in 1968.

Building meaningful, trusting relationships across racial lines is not easy. The struggle for racial equality is not over. And, honestly, the church has done more harm than good over the past many decades.

But the starting place always seems to a willingness to simply talk with one another. Yes, more talking with one another and less talking about one another.

Ignorance and the inauguration

When my family moved to Macon, Ga., nine years ago, a friend who had spent several years here told me: "It is everything right about the South and everything wrong about the South."

The same, I'm sure, could be said about other places. But I've found that analysis to be true.

On one hand there are beautiful Antebellum homes and an almost-syruppy friendliness. Churches dot every corner — and a surprising number of residents actually attend them. On the other hand, there is deep racial division and social elitism that play out in education, politics and other arenas of shared community.

So it is more saddening than surprising to read that not all public school children here will watch the inauguration of President Barack Obama today. According to an article in The Macon Telegraph, Bibb County Schools leaders are asking principals to set aside designated space for students whose parents object to their viewing of the inauguration.

My mind rushed back to childhood days at Boynton Elementary School on old State Highway 2 between Ft. Oglethorpe and Ringgold, Ga. The black-and-white televisions atop tall rolling stands sat idle in the classroom corners until some event of national significance warranted viewing.

The space program — liftoffs and landings — was a favorite. Most memorable was the time we were rushed in from the playground to find the television blaring the news that President Kennedy had been shot.

Then, every four years, we would watch "our" U.S. President being sworn into office — regardless of his political party or persuasion.

Yet on this epic day in 2009, not everyone can shed their political ideologies (or racial attitudes, if we are more honest) and witness a significant historic event. It shows that we have come a long way — but nowhere near the end of a journey toward the very equality guaranteed in our nation's founding documents.

Those sequestered by ignorance today will be but a few — I pray. Meanwhile, the more hardened politicos understand what Bubba Q. Public does not — that this is a day for national unity, not political debate and division.

A conservative Supreme Court chief justice — appointed by a conservative Republican president — will administer the oath of office. The outgoing vice president — the ideological opposite of the new president — will be there despite an aching back from moving books into his home office.

One does not have to be giddy to show respect — if not for the person, for the office, for a day.

Learning new words

My foray into journalism came when high school friend Nancy Poston invited me to join the 1974 yearbook staff. My specialty was pretending to sell ads while picnicking and playing with friends at Wilder Tower in Chickamauga National Military Park.

Vocationally, however, I headed in other directions until a later friend, Bill Neal, then editor of The Christian Index, invited me to join him as managing editor in 1994.

But whether working in the field or not, I have always been interested in words and various forms of communication. I particularly pay attention to those words I've not previously considered.

In the immediate aftermath of sensational Sully Sullenberger's landing of a US Airways Airbus A320 into the Hudson River on Thursday, aviation-insiders praised his "airmanship." I don't recall hearing that term previously, perhaps because of limited exposure to the field of aviation.

"It was a great display of airmanship," said one veteran pilot in praise of Sullenberger.

Marksmanship, chairmanship, craftsmanship, sportsmanship and penmanship are quite familiar. But airmanship is new to me.

Whatever the meaning, I sure hope the pilots that guide the planes on which I fly have lots of it.

A mother's influence

Eighty years ago today, Alberta Christine Williams King gave birth to a son in this home on Auburn Ave. in Atlanta. The son's birth will be recognized as a national holiday on Monday.

His mother, however, does not get the public attention due. Mrs. Alberta King had a lifelong close relationship with historic Ebenezer Baptist Church.

Her father, the Rev. Adam Daniel Williams, was Ebenezer's pastor until his death in 1931, at which time her husband, Martin Luther King Sr., succeeded him.

The young couple lived in the upstairs of the Williams home (above) where Mrs. Alberta King gave birth to children Christine, Martin Jr. and A.D.

When Rev. King Sr. became Ebenezer's pastor, Mrs. King became choir director and organist. She was a vital part of the congregation and an influential woman to many.

Writing about his mother, M.L. King Jr. credited her for "setting forth those motherly cares, the lack of which leaves a missing link in life."

She was also a woman who endured more than her fair share of pain and loss. Her son Martin, of course, was gunned down in Memphis in 1968 as the central figure in a national struggle for civil rights.

The next year, her other son A.D. King — a minister and civil-rights activist in his own right — died in a swimming pool accident. Then Mrs. King's own life came to a tragic end in 1974 when she was shot and killed while playing the organ at church. A young deranged man had entered Ebenezer and committed the horrific crime. She was 71.

The beautiful pipe organ in the current Ebenezer sanctuary — across the street from the historic church building now under restoration — was dedicated to the memory of Alberta Williams King.

On Monday, the nation will rightly honor the remarkable life of Martin Luther King Jr. On this actual birth-day, we should remember the one who brought him into the world and helped shape his life.

Faithfulness and Frigidaire

Fernwood Baptist Church celebrated 50 years of ministry in Spartanburg, S.C., on Sunday. It was my pleasure to share in that grand occasion.

I joked with them about moving my membership there since "apparently churches in this area welcome non-resident members." Most seemed to get and enjoy the reference to famed evangelist Billy Graham of Montreat, N.C., recently joining the First Baptist Church of Spartanburg — just down the road from Fernwood.

My blogging partner, Dr. Tony Cartledge, made a good case for membership and involvement in a local congregation in a recent blog.

His blog and the larger conversation about Graham's church membership — which had been at First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas, for decades — reminded me of a story.

Several years ago, I sat in on a conversation former President Jimmy Carter had with students at Emory University's Candler School of Theology. Church involvement somehow came up in the conversation.

President Carter told how he was in Atlanta shortly after being elected governor of Georgia and paid a visit to a woman from Plains who was hospitalized there. It was part of his duties as a deacon at Plains Baptist Church (where he and Mrs. Carter were members before Maranatha Baptist Church was formed).

The woman asked President Carter what church they planned to join in Atlanta after their move. He told her they planned to keep their membership in Plains.

"When you move your refrigerator, you're supposed to move your church membership," the woman said in a matter-of-fact manner.

I doubt President and Mrs. Carter literally moved a refrigerator to the Governor's Mansion. But he said they did heed her advice.

They found the closest Baptist congregation — Northside Drive Baptist Church — and joined. He became a Sunday school teacher.

Later, after winning the White House, the Carters joined the First Baptist Church in the City of Washington where he again taught Sunday school.

His perspective on local church membership came from a fellow church member from Plains who connected faithfulness with Frigidaire.

Church-going habits of presidents interesting

Daniel Burke of Religion News Service has a good piece on the churchgoing habits of U.S. presidents and the pressure on the incoming First Family to find a church home. (I'll link the article when it appears on the Baptists Today website later today.)

He notes that, even while in office, John Quincy Adams (pictured) went twice on Sundays — and that Jimmy Carter taught Sunday school at the First Baptist Church in Washington where he and his family were members.

Others, like Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan, Burke reported, preferred to avoid the church pews and hold occasional services in the White House.

He noted that President-elect Barack Obama and his family will face all sorts of pressures and invitations about church membership. It will be interesting to see where they land and how they engage.

Church involvement is so community-oriented and worship is so Other-focused that it creates unique challenges for persons of fame. But I hope they keep trying to make it work.

Likewise, Burke writes that opinion polls show that most Americans prefer a churchgoer in the Oval Office. He quotes historian Gary Scott Smith of Grove City College in Pennsylvania as saying: "Americans want their presidents to have solidly moral foundations,and attending church is one barometer of their moral convictions."

Wherever and whenever the new First Family does show up for worship, I just hope they are not asked to "remain seated while members and regular attendees stand and sing."

The need for civility

Americans always feel somewhat battered after a long, intense, over-covered, bitter presidential campaign.

Candidates and their supporters go overboard. They characterize opponents in the worst possible — even alarmist — ways.

High emotions can lead quickly to sewer-level words. No one person, party or political philosophy bears all the blame.

But, by and large, we are a more civil nation than what is put on public display during a presidential campaign. That's why the current president, the president-elect and three former presidents can sit down over lunch and talk with one another as they did yesterday.

Sure this was no love fest. These guys have fired their share of barbs at one another through the years.

And the president-to-be carved his path to White House by portraying himself as a solution to the current problematic president.

Yet, with the campaign dust settling, one has to believe the current president when he said that he and all the former presidents want the new one to succeed for the sake of the nation.

No, all political hatchets don't get buried. But there is civility — and that is something.

No coup de'tat. Just lunch and some private conversation about what many call "the loneliest job in the world."

My only request of the current or next president would be to join Congress in enacting a law that requires all American citizens to read (or hear read) Stephen L. Carter's 1998 book, "Civility: Manners, Moral, and the Etiquette of Democracy."

Carter, a Yale law professor, wrote: "Respect for rules of conduct has been lost in the deafening and essentially empty rights-talk of our age. Following a rule of good manners may mean doing something you do not want to do, and the weird rhetoric of our self-indulgent age resists the idea that we have such things as obligations to others."

When the book came out in '98, Carter did a PBS interview with David Gergen in which he told of how the need for civility registered with him at a young age, when his African-American family moved into an all-white Northwest Washington neighborhood.

Upon arriving, they were less than comfortable until this experience, he recalled: "[A]ll of a sudden from across the street came this booming voice of welcome. It was a woman-a Jewish woman, as it happened-who lived across the street, had just come home from work, saw these five strangers. She knew nothing about us, welcomed us in this booming voice to the neighborhood, disappeared into her house. We thought that was the end of it, but it turned out she was back five or ten minutes later with a huge tray of cream cheese and jelly sandwiches to welcome us to the neighborhood-became fast friends with their family, and I would say those are the finest sandwiches I ever tasted in my life."

Whether within the political sphere or during daily encounters, showing civility is more than a nicety. It is a necessity — because the alternative is so ugly.

Distinguished layman Griffin Bell dies

Then U.S. Attorney General Griffin Bell spoke at my graduation from Berry College in the spring of 1978. I don't recall his message but his strong, clear Southern voice was pleasing to the ear.

Judge Bell died yesterday morning at age 90. He will be buried in Americus, Ga., on Wednesday with a public memorial service set for 11:00 AM on Friday at Atlanta's Second-Ponce de Leon Baptist Church where he was a member.

A strong advocate of the historic freedoms that have marked Baptists and Americans, Judge Bell was often sought out for his wisdom and guidance.

"Judge Bell combined a high sense of integrity with a strong measure of grace,” said R. Kirby Godsey, former president and current chancellor of Mercer University, in a press release.

A 1948 graduate of Mercer's law school, Bell was very loyal to his alma mater. He served six terms on the university's Board of Trustees including holding the chairmanship from 1991-1995.

He also chaired two major fund-raising campaigns and had a chair established at the law school in his name in 1986.

In 2007, the university bestowed the rare title of Life Trustee on Judge Bell.

While a high-profile figure in American politics, Judge Bell's long life also serves as a reminder of how important all lay leaders are to the church and church-related ministries.